a blog narrating the life and recovery from PTSD and other mental illnesses
February 14th, 2020 - I began my social media fast. February 15th, 2020 - I began my fast for everything else, for specific foods, television, and marked the beginning of more involved journaling and coping skills. Tomorrow marks the end of a 3-month fast. So what was paired with this fast? My fast in 2019... Continue Reading →
WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS MATERIAL RELATED TO VARIOUS LEVELS OF ABUSE, INCLUDING EMOTIONAL AND SEXUAL, AND MATERIAL RELATED TO SUICIDE. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. April 28th, 2019: I was re-baptized. Why would this even matter? Why does publicly proclaiming my faith that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior even mean? It means everything. I... Continue Reading →
It's challenging to look myself in the mirror. At times, I'll feel like I've finally made myself look manageable, until I see a picture or video someone has taken of me, until I am sitting at a wedding, and a group of beautiful sorority sisters makes me question why I even came (and no, this... Continue Reading →
Grief recovery is challenging. If you're anything like me, when certain people enter your mind, it can be panic inducing. Just remembering a certain person was once a part of your narrative can cause stomach churns, hot flashes, tears, hyperventilation, tightening in the chest, (you know, a panic attack...), and it can be frightening. When... Continue Reading →
WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS MATERIAL RELATED TO SUICIDE. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. At times, it seems my negative emotions have a timeline. There was an original source of pain, and as life progresses, it seems the same events recur over and over again. I experience the same level of hurt, for the same reasons, in... Continue Reading →
WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS MATERIAL RELATED TO SUICIDE. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. This last Sunday marked an important anniversary. It was the anniversary of me starting my first fast. I have shared my story several times, but if you want to know the events leading up the suicide attempt that prompted my fast, you can... Continue Reading →
Why does it hurt so badly when someone is dishonest with us? Why does my heart hurt so much, why do I now question everyone's motives, why can't I fully give myself to anyone in any way? Broken trust is, in fact, loss, and it is loss that was preemptive. The person chose to perform... Continue Reading →
Have you ever experienced the domino effect of loss? When you experience one loss, then daily, it seems like a new one emerges? I know this far too well. In fact, I'm currently going through it as I type. Sometimes, life is a hallway of doors. Sometimes, it seems as if one is creaking open,... Continue Reading →
WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS MATERIAL RELATED TO SUICIDE. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. I never thought I'd be telling a Shane Sequel, but here I am. So this past week has been the textbook definition of an emotional rollercoaster. Let's start from the beginning... So a few posts ago, I spoke up about placing my value... Continue Reading →
WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS INFORMATION RELATED TO CHILDHOOD AND ADULT SEXUAL ABUSE. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. You know they were abused growing up, right?These bad things happened to me, so I am entitled to harm others.You think you're going through something bad? This happened to me, so I have it way worse. You don't see... Continue Reading →
The Trauma Chronicles 